Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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