apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
