Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she peed on how many people?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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