It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
