She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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