What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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