4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
be right there i have to get my cape
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
