all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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