So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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