So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
