Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
