Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
