hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
