I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize