Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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