The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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