i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I only lived at night.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
