booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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