@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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