No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dating After Heartbreak
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.