Who wears a wallet chain?!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?