we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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