Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

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  (415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf
  Replies (33) Good night (2744) Bad night (845)
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  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (29103) Bad night (2399)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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  (815): I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value. http://tfl.nu/83po
  Replies (14) Good night (4804) Bad night (806)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4488) Bad night (6583)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

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  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5551) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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  (615): It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30 http://tfl.nu/ukox
  Replies (15) Good night (6294) Bad night (1710)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.

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  (402): The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/3lte
  Replies (18) Good night (7359) Bad night (947)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.

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  (440): well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xftj
  Replies (6) Good night (3500) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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  (440): Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed. http://tfl.nu/3vnt
  Replies (4) Good night (2415) Bad night (1085)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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  (778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io
  Replies (11) Good night (2302) Bad night (1202)
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  (209): View more from California

  He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.

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  (209): He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding. http://tfl.nu/0fze
  Replies (7) Good night (580) Bad night (1061)
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  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1291) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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  (419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1090) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.

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  (917): Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one. http://tfl.nu/xmv0
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Marry her

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  (603): This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard. (781): Marry her http://tfl.nu/0cm5
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (162)

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