Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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  (612): How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk http://tfl.nu/wp9g
  Replies (7) Good night (996) Bad night (3496)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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  (586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special http://tfl.nu/7k86
  Replies (79) Good night (1147) Bad night (5781)
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  (951): View more from California

  apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.

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  (951): apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex. http://tfl.nu/6011
  Replies (10) Good night (2262) Bad night (1077)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

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  (305): he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad. http://tfl.nu/2uqd
  Replies (7) Good night (2043) Bad night (767)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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  (845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw
  Replies (4) Good night (1734) Bad night (610)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.

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  (919): then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building. http://tfl.nu/wz5k
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (502)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

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  (970): We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am http://tfl.nu/badm
  Replies (4) Good night (1671) Bad night (511)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

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  (202): Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat. http://tfl.nu/b8sz
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (1620)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.

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  (215): I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing. http://tfl.nu/pyii
  Replies (15) Good night (1626) Bad night (438)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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  (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2
  Replies (4) Good night (1402) Bad night (502)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (400)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf

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  (716): Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf http://tfl.nu/cswi
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (431)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.

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  (808): Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard. http://tfl.nu/xtbf
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (330)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (308) Bad night (534)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed

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  (843): yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed http://tfl.nu/7mxw
  Replies (5) Good night (279) Bad night (471)

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