Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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