Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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