I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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