I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
