i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
