he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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