Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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