So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the room spins SO much faster in panama
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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