who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf