Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian