It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo