butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
