we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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