Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
