marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
