i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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