We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
