Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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