I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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