i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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