But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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