His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
