Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
