would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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