Sponge bath it is.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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