I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize