Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
