He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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