Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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