You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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