It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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