I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
