I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
