the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
