Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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