he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
