she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize