You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
