It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
