i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize