using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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