My brain says no but my pants say off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize