So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
