Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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