you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize