I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
