I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
